My Body is My Own Prison

Remember the days where you have a nightmare, only to wake up out of it?  Perhaps you may have a nightmare tonight.  Fortunately, the beauty of having a nightmare is that you will wake up from it, and everything will be okay.

Unfortunately, instead of waking up from a nightmare, I wake up INTO a nightmare.  To know that at the very least, I will experience problems with my eyes, with my breathing, and with my swallowing every day is a pysch job I could never have imagined.  It's one thing to describe the experience of each of these problems; but to describe how it feels to know that these morbid feelings are now a part of you everyday is -- at the very least -- devastating.  I am scared every minute, every hour, every day!  I've had roughly 5 "regular" asthma attacks between early August 2013, and mid-October 2013, and about 5 "severe" asthma attacks from late-October to present (12/17/13).  I've never been so scared in my life.  It's like the first time in my life I've been in a hell.

I recall back in high school when I joined the football team during my Freshman year.  Our workouts were "hell"; but the difference between then and now is that the workout "hell" is only temporary, and at the very worst, I could simply walk off the track to rest.  But with my swallowing problem, and my breathing problem, and my eye problem, and my sleeping problem, and my numbed cheek problem, and my burning arms problem, and my...you get the point.  Anyway, with all these problems, I can't run away from them.  It would be okay if there were very few of them, and that they weren't life-threatening (like this Asthma).

I can't imagine any higher power coming to the rescue.  I mean, there millions of people every day come across something devastating.  Why would I be an exception.  It's like i'm in this prison, on an island, and someone threw away the key.  I'm locked in this body forever.  There is no cure.  I'm pretty sure of what I have for all these ailments.  And what I have cannot be treated, and it is not recognized as causing these problems.  But when you do as much research and digging as I have done, it's quite easy to understand the reason.  It all comes down to a virus that sits latent in the body.

How does one move on with their life given these circumstances?